Gamesmanship in Relationships

I just finished a spy thriller about the Whiskey Rebellion from the Revolutionary War period in America called "The Whiskey Rebels." It was entertaining, and it was full of deception and gamesmanship. I know that's what a good spy novel should be based on, so I got what I paid for, but I found that it bothered me and got me thinking about life and how we craft our relationships - both at home and at work. I say "craft” because I think we do - weaving kindness and sometimes even manipulation into how we deal with each other. I used to enjoy mentally sparring with friends - challenging, teasing and jostling with them, but as I age I'm starting to change my ways. When I was in college I had a friend I worked with one summer who was terminally nice. I would want to play a prank on one of our coworkers (like short-sheeting a bed,) but my friend would instead want to make him cookies. I thought then that he just didn't get what a prank was about, but now I think he got it even better than I did. The kinder choice may have seemed a little goofy to me then, but in my older age I see the wisdom of my friend. By avoiding the game and included mixed feelings in the prank, you get to the heart of what you want in the end (bonding with that person) without the entanglement of the prank - especially if the prank goes wrong (and I sure remember some that did.) Of course there is some fun in the prank, but I realize it is done at someone else's expense, and just like a joke told at someone else's expense there is an inherent meanness that you just can't get around. So as I get older I realize that this inherent meanness just isn't worth being involved in. And this extends to all of our relationships. Life is short, and the opportunities of doing something meaningful for another person that actually helps are few enough in number that it just isn’t worth the mental labor to play the game.  Plus I question what it really gets you in the end that matters.  Just like being one car ahead at the expense of upsetting another person doesn’t get you to your destination any faster, strategizing and plotting a course that includes abusing others doesn’t get you the success with the peace and contentment in the end that you think it will.  So I’m going to keep this in mind as I navigate my relationships.  How about you?

What were the highlights from last week?

Thursday night was great fun at the Yellow Pine. We had a packed house and even had a bear charge towards the barn!
Friday night at the La Veta Inn was a beautiful night on the patio with some really great folks.  We even had a girl wearing a fox tail.
Saturday was a very memorable night in Elizabeth at Coyote Creek Concerts.  It had such a warm and genuine audience which really made the night blossom into some special moments.  We made a lot of new friends, and I hope to be able to go back again to Elizabeth!
Sunday night at 8 Mile I had some old friends and musicians that made for a great time.  A constant light drizzle even brought out some songs from the ocean which were fun!

So what am I up to this week?

CORRECTION - Yellow Pine IS CANCELLED THIS WEEK.  Thursday night is the Yellow Pine barbecue again 6:30-8:30.  We’ll see if the bear is back or if the game department has trapped him out by then.  If you’ve never been to a Texas-style barbecue, you really should try this one out!  Make reservations at 719-742-3528.

Friday is the La Veta Inn 6-9 - hopefully on the patio again.  I enjoy the folks who come hear me at the Inn as well as anywhere I have ever played.  Come be part of it if you can.

Saturday I’m playing a 50th anniversary for the Cuchara Hermosa group in Cuchara.  This is a private engagement, but it is a wonderful organization that does all kinds of things to help out in the Cuchara area, and I wanted you to know about it.  For the 50th anniversary we are having an old-fashioned sing-along - complete with songbooks, a la the Golden Bee. This is going to be a blast!

Sunday I’m back at 8 Mile Bar and Grill 5:30-7:30 just one more time.  I’ve really enjoyed playing at 8 Mile this summer, and it has let me connect with several Cañon City folks I haven’t seen in a while.  If you’re in the area, please come out.  The food’s great, and the atmosphere is wonderful.

That’s it for this week.  Thanks for all!

Tom

Details this week:

CORRECTION - Yellow Pine IS CANCELLED THIS WEEK.
Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing & singing at the Barbecue
Where:  Yellow Pine Guest Ranch, Cuchara.  719-742-3528
When:  Thursday, July 31, 6:30-8:30 pm

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing & singing
Where:  La Veta Inn, 103 W. Ryus Ave, La Veta.  719-742-3700
When:  Friday, August 1, 6-9 pm

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing and singing
Where:  8 Mile Bar and Grill, 45000 W. US Hwy 50, Cañon City.  (719) 275-1558
When:  Saturday, August 3, 5:30-7:30

Why Do We Do It?

I’m returning to an idea that often goes through my mind.  Yesterday at the concert in Westcliffe I was having a particularly wonderful afternoon with beautiful weather, a great audience of listening and caring people, an in-tune guitar that was working for me, and a conscious that was ‘in the moment.'  The last set I was reflecting to the audience on just how special an afternoon it was, and I made the statement that I don’t play music for money, I play for the love of the music and the shared experience with the audience.  I truly believe this.  Now I do understand that the money received for the performance represents (in part) the value that people get from the music and the experience, and I think we could have an entire discussion based on the concept of whether that is good or bad, but it makes me think about a broader question - why do we do anything we do?  When I sing the song, “Night Rider’s Lament,” I often ponder on what to say to introduce the song, and I forget that the main message of the song is just this - why do we do any of the things that we do?  The song says it’s for the sight of the northern lights, for the sight of the “hawk on the wing,” and for the sight of the spring hitting the Great Divide.  What are these things?   I think they represent something deep and lasting to the writer and listener - the enjoyment of living and the passion we all seek in life.  I guess maybe that’s all there is to it.  When you get to the end of your life can you look back and say that you truly lived passionately and lovingly in whatever situation in life you landed?

What happened last week?

Thursday was a great night at the Yellow Pine with dancers and a beautiful night - even a little rain.  Friday was a lot of rain and an evening indoors with old and new friends at the La Veta Inn.  The night turned extra-special towards the end of the night as the audience indulged and encouraged me to sing some meaningful heartfelt songs.  Saturday was a crazy night with the band at the Westcliffe Stampede Rodeo Dance.  They built a new stage this year which solved the dancers spilling into the band unexpectedly, and we got to see even more wild dance moves from our heightened vantage point.  Sunday was the aforementioned concert in Westclifffe which was nothing if not magical.  I REALLY appreciate the folks who helped make it so.

So what am I up to this week?

Thursday I’m back at the Yellow Pine for the barbecue 6:30-8:30.  This summer just keeps topping itself from week to week here, and I’m sure this week will not disappoint.  If you’d like to come, call (719) 742-3528 for reservations.

Friday I’m back at the La Veta Inn 6-9.  I had trout for dinner last week that knocked me out, and I told you above how much fun we had with the music, so I’m in hopes this week will be even better!

Saturday at 7:00 I get to play a fabulous venue that I’ve heard great things about - Coyote Creek Concerts in Elizabeth, CO.  If you’re in the Denver area and have been asking me to play “up your way,” this is the show to catch.  I’m honored to get to share my music here.  Their website has more info and pictures - http://www.coyotecreekconcerts.com.

Sunday I’m back at 8 Mile Bar and Grill most likely 5:30-7:30, although I may start a little later.  I had such a good time with such nice folks the last time I played there, and I’m looking forward to this Sunday!

If you make any of these gigs I’d love to have you in my audience!

Tom

Details this week:

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing & singing at the Barbecue
Where:  Yellow Pine Guest Ranch, Cuchara.  719-742-3528
When:  Thursday, July 24, 6:30-8:30 pm

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing & singing
Where:  La Veta Inn, 103 W. Ryus Ave, La Veta.  719-742-3700
When:  Friday, July 25, 6-9 pm

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing at singing a concert at Coyote Creek Concerts
Where:  Casey Jones Park and Pavilion, Elizabeth.  www.coyotecreekconcerts.com
When:  Saturday, July 26, 7-9 pm

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing and singing
Where:  8 Mile Bar and Grill, 45000 W. US Hwy 50, Cañon City.  (719) 275-1558
When:  Saturday, July 27, 5:30-7:30

Maintenance and Finality

We had a ferocious thunderstorm late last night that tore branches off our big tree, washed out our road, and exposed a sprinkler leak. So this morning and early afternoon we had work to do - moving branches, moving dirt and rock, and cutting sod and repairing leaks. It wasn't what I had planned to do with half of my partial day off, and it got me thinking about my attitude toward maintenance in life. I tend to get annoyed by things wearing out and requiring tending to, preferring to fix them once and be done with them for good. But that's a little crazy. Yes, doing the mundane maintaining of our things in life can get old, but I seem to have this idea that I can have some permanence that will last, and I think I am missing the point of the joy in the simple things of life. I wrote a couple weeks ago of how a chore can actually be meditative. There's also a little of the "journey is more important than the goal" that I'm missing as well. It really is true that often the journey is what we remember fondly, and the goal is not as (insert superlative) as we expected.  I'm also missing the fact that everything in life changes even though we seem to think that there is permanence. I wonder if even in old age we have the wisdom to see that this isn't so. People pass on, buildings fall, and rivers change their course. In the end I know that I really enjoy the process, the journey, and the change, so why do I continue to entertain the thoughts of permanence? When I figure it all out I'll let you know.

First of all let me tell you how wonderful the past week was. I figure I'm always telling you about the week to come with glowing encouragement, but then I'm not telling you how the events turn out. The wedding reception I played on Monday outside in Cañon City was beautiful. It was at the old Robison Mansion on the lawn. There was plenty of shade, and it was just one of those storybook events that are a pleasure to be a part of - big trees, beautiful clothes, and perfect weather. Thursday night at the Yellow Pine was just full of spirit and fire - good folks and music, and a good vibe all evening. What a pleasure it was! Then I got to spend a couple days at our family cabins in New Mexico seeing my family while I played first at Red River at the top of the ski area on the deck at lunchtime Saturday to a crowd of stellar folks while we enjoyed a light sprinkle and views of the high alpine country of New Mexico. It was pretty sweet! Then I had what I'm calling "one of the most magical evenings of my life" at Philmont Scout Ranch Saturday evening playing a concert for current and past staff members. The energy was just perfect, and the mountain songs were pouring out of me along with stories and memories from a lifetime of mountain adventures. Sunday night I got to play to some very special new and old friends at 8 Mile as the evening descended on a beautiful day. It was quite a week!

So what does this week bring? Plenty!

Thursday night I'm back at the Yellow Pine 6:30-8:30 for the barbecue. Each week brings more new and old friends in this rustic barn in this is remarkable place. It's full of community spirit and fun. I'd love to have you be part of it. Call (719) 742-3528 for reservations.

Friday I'm back at the La Veta Inn 6-9 on the patio (hopefully.) I can't say enough about how special this place has been over the years. I expect this Friday to be another banner night.

Saturday I get to play with a band at the Westcliffe Stampede Rodeo Dance 9-1. This is one crazy night full of dancing and fun music, and I get to be the lead player (sharing duties with Matt Kouba.) If you've never been to a rodeo dance in Colorado, this is the one to see and be part of!

Sunday I've been asked to do another concert 2-5 for the Summer in the Park series at the Feedstore Restaurant Park in Westcliffe. The one I played in June got mostly blown out and rained on if you remember, so they've asked me to give it another go, and I love this venue and am ready to tear it up again! If you can make it I'll promise you a good time. Bring a lawn chair. There'll be refreshments available, and if you come early you can have a wonderful lunch or brunch at the Feedstore Restaurant just up the hill.

So you can see what a fun week I have in store. I hope to see you!

Tom

Details this week:

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing & singing at the Barbecue
Where:  Yellow Pine Guest Ranch, Cuchara.  719-742-3528
When:  Thursday, July 17, 6:30-8:30 pm

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing & singing
Where:  La Veta Inn, 103 W. Ryus Ave, La Veta.  719-742-3700
When:  Friday, July 18, 6-9 pm

Who:  Tom Munch & the Atomic Fireballs
What:  playing for the Westcliffe Stampede rodeo dance
Where:  Westcliffe Rodeo Grounds (north of town)
When:  Saturday, July 19, 9 pm - 1 am

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing and singing a concert in the mountains
Where:  The Feed Store Amphitheater, 116 North 2nd Street, Westcliffe.  719-783-2771
When:  Sunday, July 20, 2-5 pm

Trying to Be Wise

I've been burning both ends of the candle, and I'm finding that being tired is making me say really stupid things. It's not that I'm such a smart and eloquent person normally, although I sometimes can be still enough to be wise, but lately I find myself right at that leading edge of consciousness that is ragged and without reflection. That's a little scary at times - like losing-my-marbles kind of scary, but I know that it's just overextending myself and letting my tired brain lead me when I should get centered and approach each situation from a calm and peaceful place. I find that preparation and the right mindset is always the key to successful interaction. I also like to be spontaneous and in-the-moment, so there's a happy balance to find, but at least I have an awareness of where I can improve. And at least I know now when to keep quiet!

How about you? How do you deal with your stupid, tired brain?

So what am I up to this week? It's a busy one. 

I'm writing this Sunday night because Monday morning I'm playing a wedding reception over lunch and then a show for rafting Scouts in the evening. It should be beautiful!

Then Thursday I'm at the Yellow Pine 6:30-8:30 for the barbecue. Last week was another great packed room with wonderful folks and a little rain. I expect this week to be just as grand! Call (719) 742-3528 for reservations. 

I'm taking off Friday night so I can be up bright and early Saturday to make it to the top of the ski valley in Red River, NM, for a concert 11-1. This is part of the "Music on Top" series for the Red River Ski Area, and I'm really looking forward to it. It's a free concert at the Tip Restaurant deck - http://www.redriverskiarea.com/event/music-top-summer-music-series-2. There isn't a great deal of info here, so write me if you need more, and I'll find more. 

Saturday I'm also doing a concert for past and current staff at Philmont 

Scout Ranch in Cimarron, NM, from 8-10 during the staff reunion weekend. If you're a Philmont person I'd love to see you!

Sunday I'm playing at 8 Mile Bar and Grill by the Royal Gorge 6:30-8:30 right after I play for another group of rafting Scouts. I had one of their juicy buffalo burgers this week, and I'm looking forward to trying other yummy entrees there! Come on out if you can!

I hope your summer is going well!

Best always,

Tom

Details this week:

Who:  Tom Munch

What:  playing & singing at the Barbecue

Where:  Yellow Pine Guest Ranch, Cuchara.  719-742-3528

When:  Thursday, July 10, 6:30-8:30 pm

Who: Tom Munch 

What:  playing a concert at the Tip Restaurant

Where:  Red River Ski Area, Red River, NM.  (575) 754-2223 Ext. 202

When:  Saturday, July 12, 11:00 am-1:00 pm

Who:  Tom Munch

What:  playing at concert at Philmont Scout Ranch

Where:  Philmont Scout Ranch, Cimarron, NM

When:  Saturday, July 12, 8:00-10:00 pm

Who:  Tom Munch

What:  playing and singing

Where:  8 Mile Bar and Grill, 45000 W. US Hwy 50, Cañon City.  (719) 275-1558

When:  Sunday, July 13, 6:30-8:30