An Update on My Mother

I haven't sent out an update because I've been back and forth to Nebraska to see my mother as she struggles with her stroke and the aftermath. She did okay after the first couple days, and we were all hoping she was on the road to some kind of recovery, but alas she was in trouble by last Friday - unresponsive and no longer talking and able to open her eyes with help. Her swelling in her brain was putting pressure on her brain stem and starting to shut down her systems. It was a really hard decision, but knowing that she didn't want to end up in a nursing home, and hearing the doctor say he didn't think she could make it through surgery to relieve the pressure, we chose to put her on "comfort care" only, and take her off the feeding tube. It was a sad and difficult decision, and I'm still struggling with it, but we don't want her to suffer or have a miserable time - especially if we insisted on surgery and she didn't make it through it and so we lost her in a horrible trauma to her and us. 

I have had a chance to spend time alone with her and express my thanks for all she has given me and the love and care she has never held back. I have gotten to sing her favorite songs for her several times, and this has meant the world to me to give the love she gave me back to her through music. She especially likes the song, "Bristlecone Pine." 

I can't tell you how sad a journey this has been, but there has been a lot of joy and sharing as well. We even got to do a birthday celebration for her last Saturday - sharing stories and singing songs. Her 90th birthday was last January, but we were going to have a birthday celebration on the same Saturday in the mountains of New Mexico for family and friends, and so we were able to do the same thing for her in a different place. She seemed to enjoy it although she was only fluttering eyelids occasionally. She was very peaceful. She liked to sit in the background and listen and watch everyone when we got together, and so she did this at her party. 

Now she probably has only a few hours left, and we in the family are telling her stories still, listening to music, and reassuring her that we will all be okay. It is a very special thing to get to offer the love we can to such a strong and vibrant woman who gave so much to us. 

Sadly,

Tom