Gamesmanship in Relationships

I just finished a spy thriller about the Whiskey Rebellion from the Revolutionary War period in America called "The Whiskey Rebels." It was entertaining, and it was full of deception and gamesmanship. I know that's what a good spy novel should be based on, so I got what I paid for, but I found that it bothered me and got me thinking about life and how we craft our relationships - both at home and at work. I say "craft” because I think we do - weaving kindness and sometimes even manipulation into how we deal with each other. I used to enjoy mentally sparring with friends - challenging, teasing and jostling with them, but as I age I'm starting to change my ways. When I was in college I had a friend I worked with one summer who was terminally nice. I would want to play a prank on one of our coworkers (like short-sheeting a bed,) but my friend would instead want to make him cookies. I thought then that he just didn't get what a prank was about, but now I think he got it even better than I did. The kinder choice may have seemed a little goofy to me then, but in my older age I see the wisdom of my friend. By avoiding the game and included mixed feelings in the prank, you get to the heart of what you want in the end (bonding with that person) without the entanglement of the prank - especially if the prank goes wrong (and I sure remember some that did.) Of course there is some fun in the prank, but I realize it is done at someone else's expense, and just like a joke told at someone else's expense there is an inherent meanness that you just can't get around. So as I get older I realize that this inherent meanness just isn't worth being involved in. And this extends to all of our relationships. Life is short, and the opportunities of doing something meaningful for another person that actually helps are few enough in number that it just isn’t worth the mental labor to play the game.  Plus I question what it really gets you in the end that matters.  Just like being one car ahead at the expense of upsetting another person doesn’t get you to your destination any faster, strategizing and plotting a course that includes abusing others doesn’t get you the success with the peace and contentment in the end that you think it will.  So I’m going to keep this in mind as I navigate my relationships.  How about you?

What were the highlights from last week?

Thursday night was great fun at the Yellow Pine. We had a packed house and even had a bear charge towards the barn!
Friday night at the La Veta Inn was a beautiful night on the patio with some really great folks.  We even had a girl wearing a fox tail.
Saturday was a very memorable night in Elizabeth at Coyote Creek Concerts.  It had such a warm and genuine audience which really made the night blossom into some special moments.  We made a lot of new friends, and I hope to be able to go back again to Elizabeth!
Sunday night at 8 Mile I had some old friends and musicians that made for a great time.  A constant light drizzle even brought out some songs from the ocean which were fun!

So what am I up to this week?

CORRECTION - Yellow Pine IS CANCELLED THIS WEEK.  Thursday night is the Yellow Pine barbecue again 6:30-8:30.  We’ll see if the bear is back or if the game department has trapped him out by then.  If you’ve never been to a Texas-style barbecue, you really should try this one out!  Make reservations at 719-742-3528.

Friday is the La Veta Inn 6-9 - hopefully on the patio again.  I enjoy the folks who come hear me at the Inn as well as anywhere I have ever played.  Come be part of it if you can.

Saturday I’m playing a 50th anniversary for the Cuchara Hermosa group in Cuchara.  This is a private engagement, but it is a wonderful organization that does all kinds of things to help out in the Cuchara area, and I wanted you to know about it.  For the 50th anniversary we are having an old-fashioned sing-along - complete with songbooks, a la the Golden Bee. This is going to be a blast!

Sunday I’m back at 8 Mile Bar and Grill 5:30-7:30 just one more time.  I’ve really enjoyed playing at 8 Mile this summer, and it has let me connect with several Cañon City folks I haven’t seen in a while.  If you’re in the area, please come out.  The food’s great, and the atmosphere is wonderful.

That’s it for this week.  Thanks for all!

Tom

Details this week:

CORRECTION - Yellow Pine IS CANCELLED THIS WEEK.
Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing & singing at the Barbecue
Where:  Yellow Pine Guest Ranch, Cuchara.  719-742-3528
When:  Thursday, July 31, 6:30-8:30 pm

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing & singing
Where:  La Veta Inn, 103 W. Ryus Ave, La Veta.  719-742-3700
When:  Friday, August 1, 6-9 pm

Who:  Tom Munch
What:  playing and singing
Where:  8 Mile Bar and Grill, 45000 W. US Hwy 50, Cañon City.  (719) 275-1558
When:  Saturday, August 3, 5:30-7:30